CRY-IT-OUT Didn’t Work – What Now?

Cry-it-out encompasses a range of sleep training methods. You may have heard some phrases thrown around like “cold turkey”, “Ferberizing”, and “timed checks.”

With the cry-it-out approach, the parent or caregiver places the baby in their sleep space awake and lets them cry or fuss for a controlled amount of time. This time can vary from several minutes to all night. There are also variations on whether the parent leaves the room or stays in the room.

The main idea behind cry-it-out is extinction.

Essentially, parents should not intervene during this period of controlled crying and expect that the baby will eventually tire and fall asleep on their own.

For some families cry-it-out works! Within a few nights their baby is getting the hang of it and there’s less and less protest and middle of the night wake ups.

On the other hand, there are families (basically all of my clients), where the cry-it-out approach has not worked – even when they’ve followed step by step instructions from other private sleep consultants. This can lead to feelings of failure, shame, and disappointment in their baby.

HOLD UP!

There are many reasons why the CRY-IT-OUT approach is not successful.

• 🔥Temperament

This one’s a biggie! Temperament is the missing piece to all the sleep training advice out there. Consider your child’s temperament and your temperament! How quickly does your child (or you) become dysregulated? How much crying can you tolerate?

• Environmental Influences

As a NYCer, I know what it’s like to share a room with your little one. Maybe you’re challenged to provide a sleep friendly environment or perhaps your routines and schedule are not aligned with what your baby needs. 

• Intermittent Reinforcement

When you are inconsistent in how you respond to your child they can become frustration and this can increase the time and intensity of crying. They don’t know what to expect and you may unintentionally train them to cry longer!

• Medical

There may be underlying medical conditions or sensitivities that interfere with your child’s ability to fall asleep and stay asleep. Common conditions include obstructive sleep apnea, asthma, reflux, and allergies. 

RESOURCE:

Visit the Resource tab on my website grooveparenting.com to see my recommended books on sleep training.

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TIP:

The first step is to recognize the cry-it-out approach may not be the best approach for your family.

Rest assured, there is another way to get the whole family sleeping soundly through the night.

It’s called PARENTAL FADING.

There actually isn’t a single way . . . if there was, I’d be the sleep consultant rockstar!

The reality is that the best sleep training approach is one that is adapted and individualized for each family’s unique situation.

To learn more, read about my approach, The Sleep Lady Shuffle.