The Best Time to Sleep Train Your Baby

Sleep training is when you teach your baby to fall asleep on their own. This means you can put them down in their crib fully awake, and they can put themselves to sleep without your help.

Deciding when to sleep train your baby depends on multiple factors including age, weight, development, tolerance for distress and family life.  

When I had my first child, I only knew of one way to sleep train him – to let him cry.  There were a few methods that varied in instruction of how long to wait before reassuring or going to your baby, but they all involved a “cry it out” approach and leaving the room.

Through my work as a Montessori educator, I learned about Gentle Sleep Coaching (note the phrase ‘coaching’).

As a certified Gentle Sleep Coach, I use the phrase sleep coaching, created by Kim West, The Sleep Lady® rather than sleep training.

Gentle sleep coaching is an approach that includes support, reassurance, and presence as your baby learns independent sleep skills.

So when is the best time to sleep train or coach your baby?

It’s not a straightforward question. In this article, I’ll point out considerations regarding when to sleep train.

Easiest age to sleep train:

In general, the easiest age to sleep train is 6-8 months old.

Why? At this age, it’s likely that your baby has not experienced major developmental milestones like standing or walking. Separation anxiety may just be emerging but has not peaked yet.

On the flip side, you baby may be able to bring her hand to her mouth, suck fingers, roll over, and clutch a lovey or other comfort item. These motor skills can help her self-soothe and calm her body in preparation for sleep.

For Babies 0-5 Months

Many people might choose to sleep train their baby earlier, even as young as 12 weeks old.

For young infants, I don’t recommend formal sleep training until about 6 months old due to their immature brain.

At birth, babies are born with approximately 25% of their brain developed. By 5 years old 90% of their brain is developed. That is a lot of growth in early childhood!!!

The brain research tells us newborns don’t have the brain capacity to regulate themselves once they become distressed. For example, when a newborn cries, they need someone to help them calm down – through feeding, holding, rocking. Dr. Harvey Karp’s 5 S’s for soothing babies are commonly used.  

For these youngest infants, I recommend Baby-Led Sleep Shaping. This approach works with your baby’s needs and temperament, and gently lays a foundation of good sleep practices. By introducing developmentally appropriate elements to parents’ responses, schedule and environment, infants can learn skills that may reduce the need to sleep train later on.

4 Month Sleep Regression

The 4 month sleep regression also complicates sleep training.

During this developmental change (which doesn’t always happen at exactly 4 months old), your baby’s sleep patterns change. At the newborn stage sleep cycles tend to be shorter and shift between 2 sleep cycles. Newborns don’t always wake as they move between these stages of sleep. Around 4 months, your baby’s sleep is transitioning to 4 sleep cycles, similar to an adult. Now they are spending more time in a lighter sleep state which can cause full arousals.

Some signs of the 4 month sleep regression are:

• Difficulty falling asleep at bedtime
• More frequent night wakings
• Fussy at wake up
• Changes in appetite
• More easily distracted when feeding
• Shorter naps

Babies 9 Months and Older

At around 9 months, babies being to develop object permanence.

What does this mean for sleep?

The concept of object permanence can increase separation anxiety, making it harder to leave the room once you say goodnight. You baby knows that you have left the room but that you still exist – often resulting in cries for you to return.

Older children, especially toddlers, experience a dichotomy of wanting autonomy and independence while still needing parent support. This age also brings stronger habits, making them harder to extinguish when it comes time for removing sleep crutches and sleep associations.

Some examples of these sleep associations include bedtime bottles, parental presence when falling asleep, and going into parents’ bed at night wakings.

External factors that influence sleep training:

Support – When starting the sleep coaching process, I like to talk through who will be primarily present and taking the lead. It’s helpful to involve any parents or caregivers as well so there is consistency throughout. If you’re solo parenting with little support, consider the impact of a few rough nights.

Home life – Major life changes like a move, starting day care or even returning to work can impact the sleep coaching process.  

Room set up – It’s helpful to offer a sleep friendly environment free from distractions. Creating a sleep friendly environment promotes the development of circadian rhythm and optimizes sleep comfort.

Considerations for your individual child:

Temperament – There is no one size fits all when it comes to sleep training. While there one method that works for a lot of children, it may not work for ALL babies. One approach may work better for your child’s temperament. For example, if you have a very sensitive child who becomes easily dysregulated, letting them cry for long periods might feel stressful for you and your child.  

Adjusted age- Early or premature births might delay infant development, affecting the success of sleep training. Take into account your child’s adjusted age when considering readiness for sleep training.

Medical issues or concerns - Sometimes there are medical issues that can hinder or delay sleep training. Some of these issues include torticollis, reflux, sensory disintegration disorder, or sleep apnea. These medical issues should be addressed before sleep training. If you have questions or concerns you should consult your pediatrician or other medical professional.

Need help determining if your baby is ready for sleep coaching? Download my FREE Sleep Coaching Readiness Checklist.

READINESS CHECKLIST

Is your child older than 8 months? Sleep coaching does not have to be difficult! If you’re not sure where to start book a Discovery Call to learn more about Gentle Sleep Coaching.