Your Baby Is Waking Because They Haven't Learned This Skill
Jan 08, 2024
Did you know that putting yourself to sleep is a learned skill? At some point, most likely when you were too young to remember, you figured out a way to put yourself to sleep. Perhaps you used a blanky as a comfort item, or you curled up in a position that signaled sleep time. You learned how to calm your breathing, quiet your body, and relax into sleep.
One of my children used 2 loveys and sucked on his lower lip as a comfort while he was dozing off to sleep. He learned how to soothe himself and transition into sleep mode.
One factor in learning this new skill is brain development. To learn to fall asleep, your baby must be able to regulate and sooth themselves from a dysregulated state (when they are fussing in their crib/bassinet).
A baby’s brain develops rapidly, but it is still undeveloped when they are born. Consider the term Fourth Trimester. The first several months, a baby needs help regulating because they are unable to do this themselves. You may have noticed that when your baby cries hysterically, it takes longer to calm them than if your baby was slightly fussing.
IDEA:
Approaching sleep training as a coach rather than a teacher will allow your child the time and space to learn what works for them.
With this idea, I use the word teacher as someone who expects the student to be able to learn something new and apply it quickly.
As a coach, you are gently guiding, setting the stage, and supporting your child in a gradual way. Coaches have their players practice. Coaches try a variety of plays – some work and some don’t. Coaches see progress over an entire season with some wins and losses.
Over time, your child will learn new skills through the work they did themselves.
RESOURCE:
Kim West's Sleep Shaping Elements (aka The Sleep Lady®) are gentle ways to support your newborn in preparation for coaching.
TIP:
Take 5 deep breaths when you notice your baby fussing. Observe what they do and how they response when you attend to them. Deep breathing will help you have calm energy and will allow your baby a chance to learn.