Conquering Goodbyes

Back to school is a huge transition for young families - especially for those children who are new to school or day care of the first time.

While I don't want my last days of summer interrupted, I also want to feel prepared and calm heading into new territory when it comes time for my child to separate and join a new environment.

I'll start by saying this loud and clear: Separation anxiety is a loaded phrase. 

 IDEA

It’s normal for young children to have feelings and behaviors that exhibit separation anxiety, regardless of temperament. 

So what does typical separation anxiety look like?

Infants show separation behaviors once they develop the concept of object permanence. This typically happens during the first year of life when babies realize that objects (including their caregivers) exist even if they can’t see them. So, if your 8-month-old cries as soon as you leave the room, it might be because they know you are somewhere, but they can’t see you. That’s quite unnerving!

  Typical toddler separation anxiety behaviors, like clinginess and tearful goodbyes happen as these young children develop their sense of self, independent of their caregiver or parent. Your toddler says, “Me do it!” and demands that they try, touch, do everything on their own. While they want some independence, going off into the bigger world alone feels scary!

Why is back to school separation a challenge? 

Imagine you’ve started a new job. You need to learn new systems, new routines, new names and faces, and a new physical space. On top of that, there are new expectations and procedural processes. Sounds exhausting. 

For young children, starting a new school is similar – AND they are also experiencing major developmental changes at the same time. They must navigate the new space, new teachers, new ground rules and expectations.

BUT, while adults have experience adapting to changes in their lives, young children have little experience and tools to adjust to these life changes. 

The good news is that whatever our child’s temperament or experience, we can help with the transition back to school (or starting school for the first time)!

RESOURCE

Does it pain you to see your child cry and cling to you during goodbyes?

Check out my easy to watch online course – I’m talking 5 minute clips and PDFs to help you prepare for those first days of separation.

This is a low commitment x high value resource – and these strategies will help for school, daycare, camp or any new program, class or experience (like even birthday parties!!!).

Conquering Goodbyes Virtual Course 

TIP

Prepare your child the week before your child starts their new program: 

A little preparation can help you and your child feel more confident during those first goodbyes.  

Preparing your child can look different for each family. You know your child best so do what works for you. Here are some ideas for the week before your child’s first day:

• Look at pictures from the school’s website with your child. 
• Read books about school and separation. 
• Invite your child to help pick out back to school items. 
• Practice a goodbye routine.  

Looking for more tips for calmer goodbyes? I'd love to hear from you! Email [email protected] for support.