How I Got My Kids to Play By Themselves
Jan 24, 2023
Don’t believe the hype around the latest toys that claim your child will be occupied for hours. When it comes down to it, independent play has little to do with the material in front of the child. There is no magic toy or activity that provides external fascination - not including a screen of course (and the AAP recommends children ages 2-5 should get 1 hour or less per day!). So, what’s a busy parent to do when she needs to get stuff done?!!
Consider your child plays for 5 minutes on their own so you can book that Dr. appointment. Then, you child plays for 10 minutes and you write an entire email. After some time, your child plays for 25 minutes independently, and you prep dinner with a few minutes to sit, yes actually sit down!
What can you do to support your child’s independent play? Set up a prepared play space. Yes, the word prepared is important here! Have you ever noticed that teachers take time before the school year starts to set up their classroom? They prepare the physical space so students can learn successfully and move about the room as independently as possible.
What does it mean to “prepare” a play space? I once imagined designing a beautiful bedroom with a rainbow of books and wooden toys, a toy chest where all the messy stuff is hidden, and pristine wicker baskets labeled by contents on floor to ceiling shelves. Well, this sounds beautiful, but let me ask a few questions from a child’s perspective:
- What’s inside those baskets? I can’t read or see.
- How do I reach the stuff on the top shelves?
- Can you help me find my favorite Hotwheels buried in the toy chest?
- I took out all the green books from the rainbow but can’t put it back.
Here is a relatable moment:
I had a huge hamper with all my son’s trains, cars, and other tiny toy vehicles. One day he wanted to play with his Thomas train. After a couple of minutes digging, he exclaimed, I can’t find Thomas, I need help! We dug deep and finally had to empty everything onto the floor. Now, if I wanted him to be able to play independently and not rely on me to find things, I needed to find a place where he would be able to see all of his vehicles at once. The next day, I cleared one of his dresser drawers together we selected the trains and cars that would “live” there. We donated the others and put a few others in the closet.
Are you getting this? What works for adults may not work for our little ones. So how do we “prepare” a child’s play space in our home so they can be more independent?
- Edit and sort the toys.
- Organize manipulatives/building blocks in open or clear bins.
- Display a few toys on shelves with plenty of space in between.
- Create a reading corner.
- Get down on your child’s level – yes creep on your hands and knees. What can you reach? What can’t you reach? Have a lightweight, 2 step stool handy like this one.
Looking for more ideas? Visit grooveparenting.com for more resources.