4 Ways to Avoid Potty Power Struggles
Aug 06, 2023
You can’t squeeze it out of them.
Here’s a common scenario parents share with me -
Parent: “Sweetheart, go use the potty.”
Child: “No! I don’t have to go!”
Parent: “Yes you do!”
Child: 5 minutes later has an accident.
Parent: Feels anger, frustration. “I told you to go! Now you’re all wet and dirty.”
Child: Feels embarrassment, shame, disappointment.
Most young children, especially toddlers, don’t like being told what to do. Almost every aspect of their life is controlled by grownups around them. And when it comes to their own body, they can finally take control (think toileting and eating).
IDEA:
Potty training using a top-down approach will backfire.
Even if it works in the beginning, there are usually regressions or unexpected struggles. When a parent or grownup takes complete control over the potty training process, they remove the opportunity for the child to learn for themselves. Not to mention the stress and pressure loaded onto the child to ‘succeed’.
The most common potty struggles I see when working with families are:
withholding
regressions (frequent accidents)
refusing to poop in the potty (and will only poop in a diaper or pull up)
RESOURCE:
Learn how to potty train from start to finish using the Gentle Potty Coaching approach.
TIP:
Here are my 4 Tips to avoid the struggle:
- Stop telling them to use the potty.
The top down approach might prevent accidents at first but I do not recommend this. Help your child recognize when and how often they should sit on the potty to prevent soiling themselves. This approach build their self-awareness skills and boosts their confidence.
- Offer choices within limits.
To help them feel in control of the process, offer them choices. Perhaps they can select their underwear, or choose a picture to hang on the bathroom wall.
- Use descriptive statements to build self-awareness.
Describe what they are doing to help them recognize their body signals. For example, “You are crossing your legs. That’s your body saying you need to pee.”
- Create opportunities for success.
- A potty log helps anticipate their needs. You might learn patterns about their toileting routine.
- Floor potty so they can feel comfortable and grounded.
- Make sure to have these 3 items on hand.
Learn more by following me @grooveparenting and scheduling a Discovery Call!